I met Kari at a soiree on Mercer Island, and she caught my attention immediately. She was radiant, smiling, and sharing a skincare product that made me want to know more. Since then, we have become friends, squeezing in coffee breaks as we work across the lake from one another. And, naturally, our conversations have wandered into midlife.
Our journeys are different, but there is a surprising sameness in what we are figuring out: how to find answers, advocate for ourselves, and make choices that actually feel right for the women we are becoming.
Kari's story is a perfect example.
At 29, she was diagnosed with Graves' and Hashimoto's disease, autoimmune thyroid conditions that changed how she thought about her health, her body, and the products she was putting on her skin. A longtime beauty junkie, Kari had spent years loving products and buying into an industry that often promised more than it delivered. As she began reading ingredient labels and reconsidering what she wanted to put on her body, she started asking better questions.
What is actually good for me? What am I buying into? And why are we so determined to look younger rather than feel healthier?
Then came another midlife-sized question: What if I did something entirely different?
Kari moved from real estate into the world of skincare, transforming her personal search for better products into an entirely new business. She didn't just find a product she loved; she developed a vision, a philosophy, and a business plan around it. Today, her company is built around skin health and hydration rather than the pursuit of youth and perfection.
I love this part of her story because it captures something I see again and again in midlife. We start questioning the things we once accepted without much thought. We become curious. We discover new interests, new ideas, and sometimes an entirely new career. We begin asking what inspires us, what gets us out of bed in the morning, and what we might do if we stopped waiting for permission.
And then comes my favorite question: WHY NOT GIVE IT A TRY?
Let's look at the term menostart as an alternative to menopause. This word seems apt for the many women who experience this life transition as a turning point, after which their interests, priorities, and attitudes shift in a positive way. A second adulthood, if you will, or a renaissance of sorts is entirely possible. American anthropologist Margaret Mead called it “menopausal zest” –the rush of physical and psychological energy some women experience after menopause. You may not have the frenetic energy of a teenager, but you may find yourself pondering new beginnings: a new career, new relationships and interests, new places to live or travel, renewed health and self-care practices, and an all-around refresh as to how you channel your time and energy. In the grand scheme of things, if that isn’t a plus, I don’t know what is.
-Lisa Mosconi, PhD, The Menopause Brain
Let's talk skin, hormones, and the pressure to look younger.
Kari wants women to understand that caring for their skin is about far more than beauty. Estrogen plays an important role in skin hydration, thickness, and elasticity, so hormonal changes during menopause can affect how our skin looks and feels. And while we cannot control every change that comes with aging, we can make informed choices that support our skin's health.
Her philosophy is refreshingly uncomplicated: start with the basics. Cleanser, moisturizer, and sunscreen. EVERY. DAY.
Yes, even when it is cloudy in Seattle.
As Kari reminds us, UV exposure is not limited to sunny days. Protecting our skin is about prevention, not chasing perfection after the damage is done.
She also challenges the messages women have heard for decades. Kari bought her first anti-aging eye cream at a department store counter when she was just 19. Think about that for a moment. Nineteen! What had she been taught to fear about her face before she had even lived much of her adult life?
Her answer is to shift the conversation from beauty to skin health, from anti-aging to pro-aging, and from trying to erase every sign of time to feeling comfortable in the skin we are in.
I would argue that this is a whole-woman conversation, too. Sleep, movement, nutrition, stress, hormones, confidence, and how we feel about ourselves are all part of the picture. We cannot separate how we care for our bodies from how we care for ourselves.
And perhaps the most freeing beauty advice of all? If a product or message makes you feel bad about yourself, you are allowed to ignore it.
One last thought from Kari
"If it's light enough to read a book, you need SPF."
And her favorite quote? "Can't means won't."
I think that says a lot about Kari. She is willing to question the familiar, follow her curiosity, and build something new when the old answers no longer work.
So, as you move through your own midlife chapter, consider this: What have you been curious about lately? What would you love to learn? What idea keeps nudging you? What might you pursue if you gave yourself permission to change your mind?
You do not have to have the whole plan figured out. You just have to be willing to ask the question.
And then, perhaps, give it a try.
Until next time, keep asking questions, keep learning, and keep designing a midlife that feels like your own.
