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It’s Not Just in Your Head: What is Actually Happening in Your Body During Midlife
"Can you just tell me what I need to do?"
I hear this all the time in mental health and couples counseling. And honestly, I get it. When you are exhausted, anxious, angry, disconnected, or confused, sometimes you do not want another question. You want an answer.
Raise your hand if you have gone to the doctor or psychiatrist, had your blood pressure taken, stepped on the scale, answered a few questions, and then looked at your provider with baited breath, hoping they will tell you exactly what is going on.
Can't they see your anxiety? Your hot flashes? Your sleepless nights? The brain fog? The fatigue? The anger that seems to come out of nowhere? Can't they see that you are caring for aging parents while sending your kids off to school, managing a career, navigating a relationship, and trying to remember whether you actually drank enough water today?
We want someone to connect all the dots for us.
Menopause and the Workplace: Why 41 Million Women Can No Longer Be an Afterthought
She is leading the meeting. Managing the budget. Mentoring younger employees. Caring for aging parents. Texting a college-aged child between presentations. And trying to remember why she walked into the conference room in the first place.
If this feels familiar, you are not alone.
More than 41 million women over the age of 40 are currently in the U.S. workforce. We are not talking about a niche population. We are talking about a significant portion of the talent, leadership, expertise, and institutional knowledge that keeps organizations running.
And here is the part that should make every employer pay attention:
The average age for a woman to assume her first executive leadership role is approximately 54.
The average age of menopause is 51.
Many women will spend 15 years or more of their working lives in the menopausal stage.
Nothing Fits Anymore
Not my jeans. Not my emotions. Not my schedule. Not even the life that used to feel so familiar.
For many women, midlife arrives quietly. At first, it's just a pair of pants that suddenly won't button. A favorite blazer that feels snug across the shoulders. Leggings that dig into your waist. Bras that pinch. The zipper that refuses to cooperate. You catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and wonder, When did this happen?
Then you pull at the waistband trying to smooth the muffin top spilling over your once-favorite jeans. You tug at your shirt, trying to disguise the fullness around your middle. You feel squeezed, compressed, constrained, swollen, puffy, uncomfortable, and somehow like a stranger in your own body.
You don't recognize yourself.
It isn't simply about gaining weight. It feels as though your body has started following a new set of rules without giving you the instruction manual.
One of the biggest reasons is estrogen.